Yesterday, I could easily hear a conversation when walking my dogs in the neighborhood. Three teenage girls were several steps in front of us. They were giggling and making pinky swears. “Friends forever!” one shrieked, and the other two echoed. I smiled and thought, “You are so lucky to enjoy each other now, but when you go to different colleges, find careers in places that are not within driving distance to connect with physically. Maybe, you will fall in love and marry. You will eventually lose touch with most friends in your present life. I reflected upon relationships I formed during my adolescence, college, early adulthood, and parenting years. Even with some distance getting in the way, I got together with a few for a while. We’d discuss “back in the day” experiences, but the past wasn’t strong enough to maintain our closeness. Some faded away, and I mainly bonded with women in the neighborhood with children about the same age as mine. As our children grew older, we realized most of our intimacy was based on the kids. Our husbands, we found, often needed to be more compatible.
I am in my “Golden Years,” and” thankfully, I’ve maintained a few friendships from different eras. We have created a “new history,” sometimes including the men. They are not integral in the mix but thoroughly enjoy their company. We reminisce about our youth, parents of blessed memory, children, grandchildren, and former careers or part-time jobs. We are confidants. We get silly gossip and review books, movies, and TV programs. We are beyond the stage of protesting for peace but stand up for those who struggle and mutually console our losses.
